On Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

Is there really such a thing as a superstar? A sports team doesn’t win based on one player. A business doesn’t excel based on one person’s service. A family doesn’t thrive based on one member’s efforts. The truth is, credit is due to the group. In our individualistic society, we want to name heroes. But in actuality, unless we are working together, we will all fall.

Repeat this: Starting with me, credit for success will be given where it is due. I will neither hog the limelight, nor create individual heroes.

On Making Assumptions – Check the Facts/Motives

There’s an old saying about the word “assume.” Suffice it to say, making assumptions often results in misunderstandings. Assuming we know someone else’s motives destroys any chance of getting to know and trust one another. Building an ethical environment demands open dialogue based on authenticity. We can’t know what people are thinking and feeling unless we ask them. So ask.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the only assumption that is okay is that of assuming I don’t know others’ motives. I will ask directly.

On Determining Truth

Okay, let’s get a little philosophical. When it comes to morality, is there really a “right” and a “wrong?” In our democratic society, we tend to decide everything by majority rule. Are there certain things that ought not be put to a vote? Are there moral absolutes?

These are tough questions. But you must wrestle with the answers. Every time you make a decision, you are basing it on some moral belief. Have you truly examined that belief? I believe there are absolute truths and that belief colors my every action.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the basis for moral decisions will not be taken lightly. I will clearly define my beliefs and behave accordingly.

On Situational Ethics

The term “situational ethics” suggests that the morality of an act is defined by the situation. One’s actions are either right or wrong depending on the circumstances. This is a philosophical issue way bigger than we can deal with here, but from a practical viewpoint, let me ask you: Are you comfortable with others making decisions involving you on what they think is right in that time and place? Decisions about your money? Your kids? Your faith? Your future? Think about it. It’s a constantly moving target.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the moral base for decisions must be clearly stated. I will not allow people to make decisions based on their perceptions of a situation.

On Lying – Little White Lies

"Tell them the check’s in the mail." "Say I’m not in." Those aren’t really lies. Everyone uses them. Besides, sometimes it’s better to tell a little white lie than to upset people or get someone in trouble.

I suggest there is no such thing as "a little white lie." We lie because we are too lazy, too embarassed, too busy or whatever. We lie because we don’t have the skill to tell the truth gently. We lie because we mistakenly think we should never hurt anyone. But they are lies. Relationships are built on trust and lying undermines that trust.

Repeat this: Starting with me, lying in any form is simply not acceptable.