On Supporting the “Sin Industries”

There’s a lot of debate in the investment community about supporting so-called “sin industries” – drugs, pornography, prostitution, gambling, etc. That debate is being played out on a large scale in corporations, funds and the stock market, but what about us? Do we support those industries either knowingly or unintentionally? Are we aware of what companies are represented in our mutual funds? Do we know if any of our retirment investements are supporting companies that promote gambling? Do we use products from companies tied to child labor? Do we purchase tickets from entertainment companies that produce pornography? Benign neglect and innocent ignorance are not ethical choices for us. Repeat this: Starting with me, investing will be more than a financial activity; it will reflect solid ethics and family values. I will start asking more questions. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Living Your Values in the Workplace

Minnesota has been at the center of a number of thorny issues around living our values in the workplace. Cab drivers refusing to carry people who carry alcohol. A grocery checkout refusing to touch meat packaging, and others. While this is a complicated issue, let me suggest a starting place for you and your values. First, choose a job which by its nature is consistent with your values. Second, within that job try to make reasonable accomodations with your employer for your personal beliefs. Third, be willing to pay a price for those accomodations (Such as working every Saturday while others work your Sundays). Finally, respect others, allowing them to act according to their beliefs. Repeat this: Starting with me, the workplace will be more than a job. It will be a part of who I am and what I believe. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Saying No to The Boss

The secretary couldn’t take on even one more project. And his immediate supervisor still hasn’t dropped off the month-end correspondence. And yet he knows that two other department heads need some typing done before Monday, too. How is he going to get it all done? You know the end of this story. The secretary will cut corners, work all weekend, grow resentful, and eventually leave the job. Learn to Just say, “No” to the boss. Make a realistic assessment of what you can handle, and then respectfully ask which of the excess projects would the boss like you to push off to next week. The boss will appreciate your professionalism and you’ll save your job. Repeat this: Starting with me, work estimates will be handled with integrity and honesty. For more tips and information, visit http://www.swimstartingwithme.com/.

On Projection – Taking Out Frustration on the Wrong Person

When I took psychology I learned that projection is transferring our feelings about one person onto another. Once a therapist identified projection, the patient could begin looking at the real target of emotions.

Why is that important to us in the workplace? We get upset with someone or something, but instead of dealing with it directly, we project our feelings somewhere else. The danger here is twofold. One is that the new target is getting dumped on unfairly. The other is that we never really deal honestly with the problem.

Repeat this: Starting with me, there will be honesty in the workplace. I will learn to deal directly and respectfully with my feelings.

On Loving the Unlovable

Admit it. There are some people you find very hard to like – much less love. You probably try to avoid being around them. Now let me say this: “That’s just wrong.” Is someone any less of a person because she was born into a poor family? Because he has a chemical imbalance in his brain? Because she made some bad choices last year, or even last week?

The Golden Rule says, treat others as you would like to be treated. I don’t want to be marginalized, shunned, excluded. I want to be seen as a person, not a circumstance.

Repeat this: Starting with me, all people will be respected for who they are, not what they do.

On Situational Ethics

The term “situational ethics” suggests that the morality of an act is defined by the situation. One’s actions are either right or wrong depending on the circumstances. This is a philosophical issue way bigger than we can deal with here, but from a practical viewpoint, let me ask you: Are you comfortable with others making decisions involving you on what they think is right in that time and place? Decisions about your money? Your kids? Your faith? Your future? Think about it. It’s a constantly moving target.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the moral base for decisions must be clearly stated. I will not allow people to make decisions based on their perceptions of a situation.

On Stealing - Stealing Ideas is Stealing

Stealing intellectual property – other people’s ideas or creations – is a hot topic right now. People are more aware of stealing artists’ songs, for example. But what about right in your workplace? Taking credit for other people’s work is stealing, too. If you’re a boss, it is not only highly unethical, it’s the very opposite of what you should be trying to promote. Taking credit for other people’s work can take other forms too, like letting a customer think you were the force behind a project when it was a group effort. Stop the stealing.

Repeat this: Starting with me, stealing is stealing. I will not inflate my own importance at others’ expense.

On Decreasing Health Costs

The fastest rising costs in our economy today are in health care. Politicians, business owners, taxpayers and health care providers are all debating about who should bear those costs. But here’s something you can take to the bank. Studies show that most of the money spent on health care goes to correcting poor lifestyle choices. You and I can make a huge difference in not only our own health care costs, but in those of our company and even of our nation.

Repeat this: Starting with me, health care will be a personal responsibility. I will eat right, exercise, and stop doing things that are harmful to my health.

On Gossip

OSHA never talks about one of the big dangers in the workplace; and that’s gossip. Gossip eats away at morale, trust, and enjoyment at work. Oh, I know you would never gossip. As a matter of fact, you’ve probably complained about people that do. But what do you do about gossip? Gossip will only stop when there is no one to listen to it. What if every time someone began talking about someone else you were to say, "Sorry, I feel uncomfortable talking about her when she’s not here," and then skillfully changed the subject?

Repeat this: Starting with me, gossip will no longer have a listening ear.

On Becoming Hardened to Immorality – Inured

"Inured" is a great word. It means becoming so accustomed to something undesirable, we don’t notice it anymore. It happens to all of us with different things. Look at what’s seen on TV now, or words used in common speech, or how everyone seems to simply accept someone answering a cell phone while talking to us. Look at speeding on the highway or personal time spent on the internet in our workplace. We become inured because we let it happen.

Repeat this: Starting with me, it’s no longer acceptable to simply accept the unacceptable. I am going to be more aware of and change my own undesirable behaviors even if others are used to them.

On Moral Choices

Did you ever read one of those "stupid criminal" stories? What were they thinking? Well, they weren’t. And much of the time, neither are we. Too often we go through our day without thinking about the consequences of what we are doing or the moral implications of the choices we make. What if we spent a little more time thinking about the outcome of our words before we spoke or whether our actions are morally right before we did things?

Repeat this: Starting with me, words and actions will be preceded by careful thought. I will think about the moral implications of my behavior.

On Making a Difference

"Thousands of starfish washed ashore. A little girl began throwing them into the water so they wouldn’t die. ‘Don’t bother, dear,’ her mother said. ‘There are too many. It won’t make a difference.’ The little girl looked at the one in her hand and then threw it in. ‘It makes a difference to that one.’"

Based on an essay by Loren Eiseley, that story inspires me to believe that we can make a difference. Repeat this: Starting with me, making a difference for even one is a priority. I will take action even when the problem seems too big.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Keeping Your Word

Eden Prairie high school students were suspended after pictures of their involvement in a party with alcohol showed up on Facebook. There are many ethics issues to examine here, but one that hasn't been talked about too much is the ethics of keeping one's word.

Reportedly, students involved in athletics and other special activities signed a contract agreeing to no involvement with drugs or alcohol. They violated their agreement. All the protests of being treated unfairly, being spied upon, being unjustly accused because their cups may not have contained alcohol - all that is irrelevant to the fact that they violated their agreement.

One of the protesting Eden Prairie students interviewed said she was trying to show that the school couldn't control them, but that really isn't the point, is it? If she truly believes agreeing to no alcohol or drug involvement is a control measure, then don't sign the agreement. Have the strength to stand up for your convictions and pay the cost. Ethics is not about what you can get away with, it is about holding and acting on deeply held beliefs. It takes courage and it often carries a cost.

If students want to drink or take drugs or hang around with those who do, then make a choice NOT to be involved in the activities like sports that specifically forbid it. If you don't believe that's fair, stand up and protest that - not that you got caught violating your promise.

On Wasting Resources

Waste. Definitely not a welcome word in most businesses. Most of us are very careful to reduce waste and to avoid wasting time, energy, and other resources. But how many of us are aware of wasting our influence? As we are successful in our jobs, it gives us influence among our fellow employees, customers, etc. How are you using your influence? Purely for your own gain? Or are you using the favor you’ve found with others to make a difference?

Repeat this: Starting with me, good favor will be seen as a valuable resource. I will use whatever influence I have to make a difference in my workplace, my neighborhood, and my community.

For more tips and information, visit http://www.startingwithme.us/.

On Giving Encouragement

Everyone needs encouragement in discouraging times. However, words, no matter how nobly quoted or skillfully crafted, are empty unless there is substance behind them. Do your coworkers know there is substance behind your words? Are you a person who lives and speaks hope? Do you build a positive, accepting and safe environment in all you say and do? Do you project competence and excellence? People in crisis naturally seek out someone whom they can trust. Based on your past behaviors, will that person be you? Repeat this: Starting with me, this will become a more positive, encouraging place. I will be an encourager in discouraging times. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Rules

Rules. We all have to live by them. But how many of us take responsibility for enforcing the good ones and changing the ineffective ones? Most of us would rather complain. Here’s four words for you. It’s all about purpose. Think carefully about the reason a rule is in place. Then ask if it accomplishes the purpose. If it does, obey it and encourage others to do the same. If it doesn’t, go to someone with authority for the rule, and ask them to talk it over with you. Respectfully suggest a change that would make it more effective. Repeat this: Starting with me, rules will be seen as helpful, not harmful. I will obey all the rules while trying to improve the ineffective ones. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Taking Responsibility

If there’s one thing we are learning from the corporate debacles of late, it’s that no one likes a whiner. When you make a mistake, stand up and take responsibility. Ethically and morally, taking responsibility is the high ground. It moves you quickly past the negative consequences of the public spotlight. It will very likely be cheaper in the long run. It models the kind of behavior you expect from your coworkers and bosses. And it eliminates shame and blame from your corporate culture. You’re going to make mistakes. It’s how quickly and thoroughly you take responsibility that defines your character. Repeat this: Starting with me, responsibility will not be something to be ducked. I will let take responsibility for my own actions. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

The Ethics of Everyday Decisions - Making a joke

Humor is a delightful gift - or a dangerous weapon. Of course, like most things, the morality is not in humor itself, but in how we use it. Given that ethics is the behavioral expression of our beliefs and values, how does our use of humor reflect what we hold dear?

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday which said, "Yes, you can have my gun - bullets first." Look beyond the political reality of differences about gun control and ask yourself a question about the humor used to express this person's opinion that gun control is wrong. Is such a use of humor constructive? Is it meant to open dialogue? We may be willing to give this person the benefit of the doubt and trust that s/he does not really intend to shoot anyone who might support gun control, but in this case, does the humor not actually make a point opposite to that which the person intended?

What about the numerous jokes flying around about political candidates of any party? While humor raises issues, how many of those jokes are just mean-spirited? How many intimidate someone with a different view from expressing any kind of an honest, sincere question? This kind of humor creates a predisposition to ridicule and judgment.

And of course, there is everyone's favorite jokes about marriage, in-laws, etc. While they may be funny, what do they reveal about people who make the jokes? What do they truly believe? What are they communicating to others?

Humor is something most of use without really thinking. Next time you say something that makes people laugh, stop and think if what you said truly reflects what you believe. If it doesn't ask yourself why you made a joke about it. Think about other ways to express your beliefs - even humorous ways - that are consistent with your values.

Let's start using humor in a constructive way. Let's start saying what we really think and believe.

Ethics Forum: Diatribe or Discussion?

Sometimes and with some people, you can have serious, respectful discussions around differences in beliefs - even religion and politics (which common wisdom says to avoid). Other times, it's impossible. What's the difference?

Listen and you'll hear it. It has to do with inflammatory language. In those impossible moments, you will hear name calling, judgmental terms, sarcastic tones, negative characterizations and usually, raised voices. In the more constructive interactions you will hear open ended questions, a respectful tone, non-judgmental terms and voices at normal volume. It's really the difference between a diatribe and a discussion.

"Diatribe" is a word that comes from a couple of Greek words which mean "to wear away." People that engage in diatribes are holding forth their own views in such a way as to rub out any dissenting idea. Inflammatory language is an attack and puts people into the "fight or flight" mode. Instead of discussion, there is either an argument, or a one-sided oration. "Discussion" comes from two Latin words which mean to shake apart. In usage, it means to dissect and examine. Respectful language invites an in-depth look at a subject.

Consider an example in which someone starts out a conversation with, "Those fat-cat senators just screwed us again by passing that baby-killing bill." If the listener is in agreement, there won't be a discussion, only a crucifixion of the senators and mutual self-righteousness around the speaker's moral beliefs. If the listener is not in agreement, there will either be an argument trying to prove who's right, or the listener will withdraw.

Now consider a different start: "I just heard on the news that the Senate passed a bill encouraging stem cell research. What kinds of moral and practical issues does this raise?" By creating a safe forum, extending an openness to examine what the bill really means, the discussion is likely to lead to all sorts of questions and issues that have far-reaching implications. Regardless of your beliefs, there is a freedom to raise questions for deeper thought.

Diatribes shut off questions. Discussions encourage them.
Diatribes create an adversarial atmosphere. Discussions create a collegial atmosphere.
Diatribes force defensiveness. Discussions allow self-examination.

The next time a moral issue arises, start a discussion. Challenge those who use inflammatory language to put their guns away and respectfully look at the issues with you. This leads to ethical and moral growth and creates and environment of change. One more example of "Starting With Me."