On Loving the Unlovable

Admit it. There are some people you find very hard to like – much less love. You probably try to avoid being around them. Now let me say this: “That’s just wrong.” Is someone any less of a person because she was born into a poor family? Because he has a chemical imbalance in his brain? Because she made some bad choices last year, or even last week?

The Golden Rule says, treat others as you would like to be treated. I don’t want to be marginalized, shunned, excluded. I want to be seen as a person, not a circumstance.

Repeat this: Starting with me, all people will be respected for who they are, not what they do.

On Becoming Politically Active

Democracy. It’s one of the values that defines our country. But for all our talk, do we really value democracy? When was the last time you voted? Did you ever call, e-mail or write your representative? Do you know what your school board is doing? Do you take any time to truly understand the issues facing the country, your state, city, etc.? Unless you are actively involved, you don’t really value democracy.

Repeat this: Starting with me, democracy will be truly valued and will start working like it’s supposed to.

On Making a Difference

"Thousands of starfish washed ashore. A little girl began throwing them into the water so they wouldn’t die. ‘Don’t bother, dear,’ her mother said. ‘There are too many. It won’t make a difference.’ The little girl looked at the one in her hand and then threw it in. ‘It makes a difference to that one.’"

Based on an essay by Loren Eiseley, that story inspires me to believe that we can make a difference. Repeat this: Starting with me, making a difference for even one is a priority. I will take action even when the problem seems too big.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Giving Feedback

One of the most important communications skills is the ability to give feedback. Doing it in a respectful, non-judgmental manner helps ensure your feedback will be heard. Remember this phrase: behaviorally measurable. Your feedback should be around observable, objective behaviors, not your feelings or your subjective judgments as to what they mean. If someone shortchanges a customer, don’t say, "You cheated that lady." Instead, say, "You gave her $1.70 instead of $1.80." Describe the behavior. The other person will not be as likely to be defensive, and you may help build either skills or character in the process.

Repeat this: Starting with me, feedback will be more effective.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Giving Encouragement

Everyone needs encouragement in discouraging times. However, words, no matter how nobly quoted or skillfully crafted, are empty unless there is substance behind them. Do your coworkers know there is substance behind your words? Are you a person who lives and speaks hope? Do you build a positive, accepting and safe environment in all you say and do? Do you project competence and excellence? People in crisis naturally seek out someone whom they can trust. Based on your past behaviors, will that person be you? Repeat this: Starting with me, this will become a more positive, encouraging place. I will be an encourager in discouraging times. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Wasting Resources

Waste. Definitely not a welcome word in most businesses. Most of us are very careful to reduce waste; to avoid wasting time, energy, and other resources. But how many of us are aware of wasting our influence? As we are successful in our jobs, it gives us influence among our fellow employees, customers, etc. How are you using your influence? Purely for your own gain? Or are you using the favor you’ve found with others to make a difference? Repeat this: Starting with me, good favor will be seen as a valuable resource. I will use whatever influence I have to make a difference in my workplace, my neighborhood, and community. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.