On Valuing Equally vs. Treating Equally

My mom believed in treating her kids equally. At Christmas, she’d buy all four of us adult kids the same present. We all got a sweater, or we all got a talking thermometer – whether we needed or wanted one or not. It was probably my own fault. I can remember as a kid complaining that my sister got something that I didn’t.

But I never really wanted to be treated equally, just valued equally. Do you know the difference? In an effort to value people equally, do you miss seeing them as individuals?

Repeat this: Starting with me, equality will take on new meaning. I will value people equally and treat them individually.

On Labeling – It’s for Products, Not People

Truth in Labeling Laws help assure us that a product is what it is advertised to be. No such laws exist in the human realm. We label people incorrectly all the time. I’m not referring to nasty names or racial slurs. I’m talking about the ways we put people in boxes. “John is straight-laced. Susan is old school.” This presents a moral dilemma. Do we allow people to be who they really are, or do we force our own prejudices on them?

Repeat this: Starting with me, people will be encouraged to be all that they can be – I will not put them in box of my own making.

On Contributing to Prejudice

“I’m not prejudiced, but did you hear the joke about...?” Subtle, unintentioned prejudice is more difficult to deal with than outright bigotry. At least with a bigot you know where he stands. All of us have prejudices. The trick is to know ourselves well enough to recognize them – and then refuse to act on them. Please don’t knowingly or unknowingly be a contributor to prejudice. Be vigilant and continuously ask yourself what your true feelings are.

Repeat this: Starting with me, behavior based on prejudice is a thing of the past. I will admit to my own biases and refuse to act on them.

On Prejudging - Judging a Book by Its Cover

I’m a fan of the CSI genre of TV shows. One of the positive messages is the portrayal of some of the weird-looking and weird-acting people (by my first-appearance standards) as highly intelligent, capable professionals. It’s a good reminder of the old saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” All too often we pre-judge people by how they dress, or their height or weight, or, today, their body ornamentation. Appearances rarely have anything to do with what’s inside a person; with what a person is capable of. As the CSI shows always say, “Believe the evidence.”

Repeat this: Starting with me, the fruit of people’s work will be the only standard for judging their worth.