On Speaking Positively

Come on, I know you heard it from your parents or teachers: “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” That’s good advice with immense implications for ethical behavior. Speaking positively creates an atmosphere of hope, of safety, and of trust. These are all vital to being able to openly explore moral issues and our resulting behaviors. Where negative attitudes are the norm, people expect everything to be wrong. Negative talk seems constantly judgmental. Is that you? Is that your workplace? Stop it.

Repeat this: Starting with me, there will be a positive outlook around here. I will speak the good word.

The Ethics of Everyday Decisions - Making a joke

Humor is a delightful gift - or a dangerous weapon. Of course, like most things, the morality is not in humor itself, but in how we use it. Given that ethics is the behavioral expression of our beliefs and values, how does our use of humor reflect what we hold dear?

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday which said, "Yes, you can have my gun - bullets first." Look beyond the political reality of differences about gun control and ask yourself a question about the humor used to express this person's opinion that gun control is wrong. Is such a use of humor constructive? Is it meant to open dialogue? We may be willing to give this person the benefit of the doubt and trust that s/he does not really intend to shoot anyone who might support gun control, but in this case, does the humor not actually make a point opposite to that which the person intended?

What about the numerous jokes flying around about political candidates of any party? While humor raises issues, how many of those jokes are just mean-spirited? How many intimidate someone with a different view from expressing any kind of an honest, sincere question? This kind of humor creates a predisposition to ridicule and judgment.

And of course, there is everyone's favorite jokes about marriage, in-laws, etc. While they may be funny, what do they reveal about people who make the jokes? What do they truly believe? What are they communicating to others?

Humor is something most of use without really thinking. Next time you say something that makes people laugh, stop and think if what you said truly reflects what you believe. If it doesn't ask yourself why you made a joke about it. Think about other ways to express your beliefs - even humorous ways - that are consistent with your values.

Let's start using humor in a constructive way. Let's start saying what we really think and believe.