On Being an Environment Steward

“Paper or plastic?” That question opened great debates in the last decade on our personal responsibility for the environment. Technology has since changed the equation, but we are still faced daily with decisions that affect the stewardship of the resources we have. What can the rallying cry be today? How can we raise awareness of the environmental issues involved in our everyday decisions? What will gas prices have to be before Americans begin to seriously conserve fuel? What species will disappear before we take responsibility for our planet?

Repeat this: Starting with me, stewardship starts with me. I will not wait any longer to make a difference.

On Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

Is there really such a thing as a superstar? A sports team doesn’t win based on one player. A business doesn’t excel based on one person’s service. A family doesn’t thrive based on one member’s efforts. The truth is, credit is due to the group. In our individualistic society, we want to name heroes. But in actuality, unless we are working together, we will all fall.

Repeat this: Starting with me, credit for success will be given where it is due. I will neither hog the limelight, nor create individual heroes.

On Seeing the Big Picture (Long Term vs. Short Term)

It’s a constant struggle. Doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO of a large corporation, or if you’re a person with a few bucks in a mutual fund. Which takes precedent, the long term or the short? If you only manage for short term profit, you will destroy the sustainability of your investment. If you ignore the short term you may not be around long enough to enjoy the eventual outcome. There is no simple answer. In fact, the natural tension between the long and short term expose the values which determine our ethics.

Repeat this: Starting with me, big picture questions will be a platform for examining values and improving ethics.

On Speaking Positively

Come on, I know you heard it from your parents or teachers: “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” That’s good advice with immense implications for ethical behavior. Speaking positively creates an atmosphere of hope, of safety, and of trust. These are all vital to being able to openly explore moral issues and our resulting behaviors. Where negative attitudes are the norm, people expect everything to be wrong. Negative talk seems constantly judgmental. Is that you? Is that your workplace? Stop it.

Repeat this: Starting with me, there will be a positive outlook around here. I will speak the good word.

On Taking the First Step to Peace

Who should take the first steps toward peace? Do we demand an apology before we are willing to forgive? Is it the victor or the loser who extends the olive branch? The answer depends on what we are really after. If we value principles above positions, if we value cooperation above justification, if we value being together above being “right,” then taking the first step toward peace is the first step toward peace.

Repeat this: Starting with me, peace will be the desired outcome. I will swallow my pride and take the first step.

On Rest and Vacation

Did you ever think of “rest” as a moral issue? Probably not. But rest is important to maintaing a consistent ethical stance in everything we do. When we are stressed, tired, weak or sick, our decisions will tend to be based on our own needs first. It’s the human trait of self-preservation. But ethical behavior is based on recognizing and respecting the needs of others, as well as ourselves.

Repeat this: Starting with me, rest, vacation, and time off will be valued as a moral imperative. I will keep myself prepared to make sound ethical decisions.

On Valuing Equally vs. Treating Equally

My mom believed in treating her kids equally. At Christmas, she’d buy all four of us adult kids the same present. We all got a sweater, or we all got a talking thermometer – whether we needed or wanted one or not. It was probably my own fault. I can remember as a kid complaining that my sister got something that I didn’t.

But I never really wanted to be treated equally, just valued equally. Do you know the difference? In an effort to value people equally, do you miss seeing them as individuals?

Repeat this: Starting with me, equality will take on new meaning. I will value people equally and treat them individually.

On Making Assumptions – Check the Facts/Motives

There’s an old saying about the word “assume.” Suffice it to say, making assumptions often results in misunderstandings. Assuming we know someone else’s motives destroys any chance of getting to know and trust one another. Building an ethical environment demands open dialogue based on authenticity. We can’t know what people are thinking and feeling unless we ask them. So ask.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the only assumption that is okay is that of assuming I don’t know others’ motives. I will ask directly.

On Projection – Taking Out Frustration on the Wrong Person

When I took psychology I learned that projection is transferring our feelings about one person onto another. Once a therapist identified projection, the patient could begin looking at the real target of emotions.

Why is that important to us in the workplace? We get upset with someone or something, but instead of dealing with it directly, we project our feelings somewhere else. The danger here is twofold. One is that the new target is getting dumped on unfairly. The other is that we never really deal honestly with the problem.

Repeat this: Starting with me, there will be honesty in the workplace. I will learn to deal directly and respectfully with my feelings.

On Self Centeredness

In the year 1530, Copernicus proved that the earth revolved around the sun. Preposterous! I know it revolves around me. At least that’s the way most of us behave. We tend to be very self-centered. How does that affect our behavior? We begin to think we are entitled. Others should respect me. I should make more money. My time should be more important than others’. We begin to act as if we were more important than anyone else. And that leads to unethical and immoral behaviors.

Repeat this: Starting with me, Copernicus will be a sobering reminder. I will see myself in proper perspective with regards to others.

On Turning the Other Cheek

We’ve all heard the old “turn the other cheek” philosophy, but does that make any sense in today’s world? Consider this familiar scenario. I’m driving along. A guy cuts me off. “He can’t do that!” I speed around him and hit my brakes. He tries to force me off the road. Et cetera. Had I simply “turned the other cheek,” countless headaches would have been avoided. I may have lost 3-5 seconds in my commute, but I’d be alive and less stressed. (And by the way, if I were honest, have I not done the same thing to someone else? If only accidentally?)

Repeat this: Starting with me, two wrongs will never make a right. I will not meet violence with violence.

On Loving the Unlovable

Admit it. There are some people you find very hard to like – much less love. You probably try to avoid being around them. Now let me say this: “That’s just wrong.” Is someone any less of a person because she was born into a poor family? Because he has a chemical imbalance in his brain? Because she made some bad choices last year, or even last week?

The Golden Rule says, treat others as you would like to be treated. I don’t want to be marginalized, shunned, excluded. I want to be seen as a person, not a circumstance.

Repeat this: Starting with me, all people will be respected for who they are, not what they do.

On Servant Leadership

Servant Leadership is a popular concept these days. What does it really mean? It means putting the needs of others before my own. This is not entirely unselfish. It’s a fact of human nature that unless and until others’ needs are met, they cannot work together to meet the needs of the organization. Maslow taught that people’s needs have to be met at basic levels before they can be effective.

How does this apply to you? You don’t have to be a manager or an elected official to be a servant leader. Repeat this: Starting with me, effective leadership will be in meeting the needs of others. I will put the needs of others before my own.

On Determining Truth

Okay, let’s get a little philosophical. When it comes to morality, is there really a “right” and a “wrong?” In our democratic society, we tend to decide everything by majority rule. Are there certain things that ought not be put to a vote? Are there moral absolutes?

These are tough questions. But you must wrestle with the answers. Every time you make a decision, you are basing it on some moral belief. Have you truly examined that belief? I believe there are absolute truths and that belief colors my every action.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the basis for moral decisions will not be taken lightly. I will clearly define my beliefs and behave accordingly.

On Situational Ethics

The term “situational ethics” suggests that the morality of an act is defined by the situation. One’s actions are either right or wrong depending on the circumstances. This is a philosophical issue way bigger than we can deal with here, but from a practical viewpoint, let me ask you: Are you comfortable with others making decisions involving you on what they think is right in that time and place? Decisions about your money? Your kids? Your faith? Your future? Think about it. It’s a constantly moving target.

Repeat this: Starting with me, the moral base for decisions must be clearly stated. I will not allow people to make decisions based on their perceptions of a situation.

On Settling for Second Best

Is settling for second best ever enough? Just the very word “settling” suggests a surrender of some sort. And “second best?” Well, you decide. In practical sense, I accept that I will not always achieve the “best” outcome, but I resolve never to settle for second best. To do so means I will always be selling someone short, I will not be delivering what I am truly capable of, I will always be falling short of my implied or explicit promise to others.

Repeat this: Starting with me, second best will never be enough. I will always keep working to achieve the best.

On Taking Bribes

Bribery. There’s a word for it in almost every language, past and present. In some countries there are laws against bribery; in others, it’s an accepted way of doing business. Even if it were legal, though, I submit it would be unethical. By definition, bribery is awarding favor in exchange for a reward. The focus isn’t on the quality of the service but on the quantity of the reward. Bribery bars qualified players from the field and favors the wealthiest participants. But bribery will go on as long as there is someone willing to pay or accept a bribe.

Repeat this: Starting with me, bribery will not be tolerated at any level, for any reason.

On Labeling – It’s for Products, Not People

Truth in Labeling Laws help assure us that a product is what it is advertised to be. No such laws exist in the human realm. We label people incorrectly all the time. I’m not referring to nasty names or racial slurs. I’m talking about the ways we put people in boxes. “John is straight-laced. Susan is old school.” This presents a moral dilemma. Do we allow people to be who they really are, or do we force our own prejudices on them?

Repeat this: Starting with me, people will be encouraged to be all that they can be – I will not put them in box of my own making.

On Contributing to Prejudice

“I’m not prejudiced, but did you hear the joke about...?” Subtle, unintentioned prejudice is more difficult to deal with than outright bigotry. At least with a bigot you know where he stands. All of us have prejudices. The trick is to know ourselves well enough to recognize them – and then refuse to act on them. Please don’t knowingly or unknowingly be a contributor to prejudice. Be vigilant and continuously ask yourself what your true feelings are.

Repeat this: Starting with me, behavior based on prejudice is a thing of the past. I will admit to my own biases and refuse to act on them.

On Prejudging - Judging a Book by Its Cover

I’m a fan of the CSI genre of TV shows. One of the positive messages is the portrayal of some of the weird-looking and weird-acting people (by my first-appearance standards) as highly intelligent, capable professionals. It’s a good reminder of the old saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” All too often we pre-judge people by how they dress, or their height or weight, or, today, their body ornamentation. Appearances rarely have anything to do with what’s inside a person; with what a person is capable of. As the CSI shows always say, “Believe the evidence.”

Repeat this: Starting with me, the fruit of people’s work will be the only standard for judging their worth.

On Stealing - Stealing Ideas is Stealing

Stealing intellectual property – other people’s ideas or creations – is a hot topic right now. People are more aware of stealing artists’ songs, for example. But what about right in your workplace? Taking credit for other people’s work is stealing, too. If you’re a boss, it is not only highly unethical, it’s the very opposite of what you should be trying to promote. Taking credit for other people’s work can take other forms too, like letting a customer think you were the force behind a project when it was a group effort. Stop the stealing.

Repeat this: Starting with me, stealing is stealing. I will not inflate my own importance at others’ expense.

On Stealing – Stealing Work Hours is Stealing

Okay, let’s just say this. Coming late, leaving early, extending breaks and surfing the net (March Madness, anyone?) on company time is stealing. Plain and simple. Oh, sure, there’s comp time, but the rest of it is just wrong. And while we’re at it, what about being habitually late for meetings? In that case we are stealing multiple people’s time. Here’s the deal. We can’t complain about corporate greed, crooked politicians, and identity theft if we are also guilty of stealing. Let’s clean it up.

Repeat this: Starting with me, stealing is stealing. I will take personal responsibility for my use of time.

On Settling for Low Quality Work

I hate the word “mediocrity.” There is nothing admirable about being lukewarm, average, or okay. We have an ethical responsibility to strive for the best in all our activities. Settling for low quality work is flat out immoral and accepting “meets minimum standards” is demoralizing, at best.

The good news is that we can change that. No matter what your job is, whatever part of the process you own, go for excellence. You may stir up a little controversy, but stick to your guns. Deep down, I think everyone wants to do their best.

Repeat this: Starting with me, good enough is no longer good enough. I will seek the best.

On Confronting Bullying

There has been a lot (though not enough) of press lately about bullying in schools. But what about bullying in the workplace? Oh, it’s often more subtle there, but it is happening nonetheless. The newcomer, the nerd, and the prude are often singled out and made fun of. If you are not on the receiving end, it may seem harmless or funny or even deserved. But the person being bullied doesn’t think so. It creates a workplace filled with fear, hate, and division. It crushes creativity. And by the way, it’s illegal.

Repeat this: Starting with me, bullying in any form will not be tolerated. I will stand up for the victims.

On Understanding Disability

“Mommy, why does that man have no legs?” We cringe when we hear children loudly ask those embarassing questions. But most people with disabilities would much rather talk openly about them than the alternative – which is often embarassment, pity, fear and avoidance. Many will quickly help us understand that, for them, they don’t even consider what we see a disability. Contrary to popular opinion, ignorance is not bliss. Don’t be a part of allowing people to be marginalized by physical or mental differences.

Repeat this: Starting with me, people who are different from me will be understood and respected.

On Decreasing Prejudice

Our tendency is to reject as “wrong” anything unfamiliar to us. When something seems wrong to us, we often think – if not act – judgmentally toward others. Understanding other cultures, religions, and lifestyles helps us to see why people make the decisions they make and why they behave and speak the way they do. We can learn to accept and even value what first seemed wrong to us. We can then interact with people on a basis of knowledge and respect rather than ignorance.

Repeat this: Starting with me, ignorance about different cultures, religions and lifestyles will not be an excuse for prejudice.

On Becoming Politically Active

Democracy. It’s one of the values that defines our country. But for all our talk, do we really value democracy? When was the last time you voted? Did you ever call, e-mail or write your representative? Do you know what your school board is doing? Do you take any time to truly understand the issues facing the country, your state, city, etc.? Unless you are actively involved, you don’t really value democracy.

Repeat this: Starting with me, democracy will be truly valued and will start working like it’s supposed to.

On Decreasing Health Costs

The fastest rising costs in our economy today are in health care. Politicians, business owners, taxpayers and health care providers are all debating about who should bear those costs. But here’s something you can take to the bank. Studies show that most of the money spent on health care goes to correcting poor lifestyle choices. You and I can make a huge difference in not only our own health care costs, but in those of our company and even of our nation.

Repeat this: Starting with me, health care will be a personal responsibility. I will eat right, exercise, and stop doing things that are harmful to my health.

On Decreasing Turnover

Do you work someplace with high employee turnover? Do you get tired of seeing an endless stream of trainees who don’t seem to care as much about the job as you do? Do you wish you could do something about it? Well, maybe you can. You may not have the authority to increase wages or grant different schedules, but one of the biggest factors in employee turnover is a lack of a sense of belonging, or of importance. You can do something about that.

Repeat this: Starting with me, new employees will see someone in the workplace who cares about them and what they bring to the team.

On Lying – Little White Lies

"Tell them the check’s in the mail." "Say I’m not in." Those aren’t really lies. Everyone uses them. Besides, sometimes it’s better to tell a little white lie than to upset people or get someone in trouble.

I suggest there is no such thing as "a little white lie." We lie because we are too lazy, too embarassed, too busy or whatever. We lie because we don’t have the skill to tell the truth gently. We lie because we mistakenly think we should never hurt anyone. But they are lies. Relationships are built on trust and lying undermines that trust.

Repeat this: Starting with me, lying in any form is simply not acceptable.

On Gossip

OSHA never talks about one of the big dangers in the workplace; and that’s gossip. Gossip eats away at morale, trust, and enjoyment at work. Oh, I know you would never gossip. As a matter of fact, you’ve probably complained about people that do. But what do you do about gossip? Gossip will only stop when there is no one to listen to it. What if every time someone began talking about someone else you were to say, "Sorry, I feel uncomfortable talking about her when she’s not here," and then skillfully changed the subject?

Repeat this: Starting with me, gossip will no longer have a listening ear.

On Conservation

There’s no question that rising fuel costs are making a big impact on business. The price of gas is causing many people to see conservation as a moral issue. What do you drive – a guzzler or a sipper? How do you drive – jack rabbit starts or easy on the pedal? As fast as you can get away with or within the speed limit? When do you drive – anytime you think of it or planning several errands at once?

Complain about gas prices if you must, but repeat this: Starting with me, gasoline will be valued as the endangered resource it is.

On Becoming Hardened to Immorality – Inured

"Inured" is a great word. It means becoming so accustomed to something undesirable, we don’t notice it anymore. It happens to all of us with different things. Look at what’s seen on TV now, or words used in common speech, or how everyone seems to simply accept someone answering a cell phone while talking to us. Look at speeding on the highway or personal time spent on the internet in our workplace. We become inured because we let it happen.

Repeat this: Starting with me, it’s no longer acceptable to simply accept the unacceptable. I am going to be more aware of and change my own undesirable behaviors even if others are used to them.

On Moral Choices

Did you ever read one of those "stupid criminal" stories? What were they thinking? Well, they weren’t. And much of the time, neither are we. Too often we go through our day without thinking about the consequences of what we are doing or the moral implications of the choices we make. What if we spent a little more time thinking about the outcome of our words before we spoke or whether our actions are morally right before we did things?

Repeat this: Starting with me, words and actions will be preceded by careful thought. I will think about the moral implications of my behavior.

On Making a Difference

"Thousands of starfish washed ashore. A little girl began throwing them into the water so they wouldn’t die. ‘Don’t bother, dear,’ her mother said. ‘There are too many. It won’t make a difference.’ The little girl looked at the one in her hand and then threw it in. ‘It makes a difference to that one.’"

Based on an essay by Loren Eiseley, that story inspires me to believe that we can make a difference. Repeat this: Starting with me, making a difference for even one is a priority. I will take action even when the problem seems too big.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Giving Feedback

One of the most important communications skills is the ability to give feedback. Doing it in a respectful, non-judgmental manner helps ensure your feedback will be heard. Remember this phrase: behaviorally measurable. Your feedback should be around observable, objective behaviors, not your feelings or your subjective judgments as to what they mean. If someone shortchanges a customer, don’t say, "You cheated that lady." Instead, say, "You gave her $1.70 instead of $1.80." Describe the behavior. The other person will not be as likely to be defensive, and you may help build either skills or character in the process.

Repeat this: Starting with me, feedback will be more effective.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Keeping Your Word

Eden Prairie high school students were suspended after pictures of their involvement in a party with alcohol showed up on Facebook. There are many ethics issues to examine here, but one that hasn't been talked about too much is the ethics of keeping one's word.

Reportedly, students involved in athletics and other special activities signed a contract agreeing to no involvement with drugs or alcohol. They violated their agreement. All the protests of being treated unfairly, being spied upon, being unjustly accused because their cups may not have contained alcohol - all that is irrelevant to the fact that they violated their agreement.

One of the protesting Eden Prairie students interviewed said she was trying to show that the school couldn't control them, but that really isn't the point, is it? If she truly believes agreeing to no alcohol or drug involvement is a control measure, then don't sign the agreement. Have the strength to stand up for your convictions and pay the cost. Ethics is not about what you can get away with, it is about holding and acting on deeply held beliefs. It takes courage and it often carries a cost.

If students want to drink or take drugs or hang around with those who do, then make a choice NOT to be involved in the activities like sports that specifically forbid it. If you don't believe that's fair, stand up and protest that - not that you got caught violating your promise.

On Wasting Resources

Waste. Definitely not a welcome word in most businesses. Most of us are very careful to reduce waste and to avoid wasting time, energy, and other resources. But how many of us are aware of wasting our influence? As we are successful in our jobs, it gives us influence among our fellow employees, customers, etc. How are you using your influence? Purely for your own gain? Or are you using the favor you’ve found with others to make a difference?

Repeat this: Starting with me, good favor will be seen as a valuable resource. I will use whatever influence I have to make a difference in my workplace, my neighborhood, and my community.

For more tips and information, visit http://www.startingwithme.us/.

On Giving Encouragement

Everyone needs encouragement in discouraging times. However, words, no matter how nobly quoted or skillfully crafted, are empty unless there is substance behind them. Do your coworkers know there is substance behind your words? Are you a person who lives and speaks hope? Do you build a positive, accepting and safe environment in all you say and do? Do you project competence and excellence? People in crisis naturally seek out someone whom they can trust. Based on your past behaviors, will that person be you? Repeat this: Starting with me, this will become a more positive, encouraging place. I will be an encourager in discouraging times. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Corporate Giving

Corporate giving is not just for big companies. Employees and small business owners can give – and receive a great deal in return. Why give? It adds a deeper sense of meaning to your life. It improves your morale. And it builds a sense of camaraderie and caring with and for others. How should you give? It can be in the form of one-time gifts, or ongoing support. Through writing a check, or volunteering time or your talents, services or products. Companies can benefit greatly by helping their employees give. Don’t wait around for someone to ask you. Repeat this: Starting with me, giving will become the norm, not the exception. I will start today, no matter how small. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Taking Responsibility

If there’s one thing we are learning from the corporate debacles of late, it’s that no one likes a whiner. When you make a mistake, stand up and take responsibility. Ethically and morally, taking responsibility is the high ground. It moves you quickly past the negative consequences of the public spotlight. It will very likely be cheaper in the long run. It models the kind of behavior you expect from your coworkers and bosses. And it eliminates shame and blame from your corporate culture. You’re going to make mistakes. It’s how quickly and thoroughly you take responsibility that defines your character. Repeat this: Starting with me, responsibility will not be something to be ducked. I will let take responsibility for my own actions. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Wasting Resources

Waste. Definitely not a welcome word in most businesses. Most of us are very careful to reduce waste; to avoid wasting time, energy, and other resources. But how many of us are aware of wasting our influence? As we are successful in our jobs, it gives us influence among our fellow employees, customers, etc. How are you using your influence? Purely for your own gain? Or are you using the favor you’ve found with others to make a difference? Repeat this: Starting with me, good favor will be seen as a valuable resource. I will use whatever influence I have to make a difference in my workplace, my neighborhood, and community. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Being Two Faced

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase, “two-faced?” Most of us would not like to be labeled with it. But many of us are more two-faced than we’d like to admit. We act differently at work than we do at home. We say and do things with our friends we would never do with our parents or kids. We behave in private in a way we’d never think of doing in public. We weren’t meant to live that way. It creates a kind of moral dichotomy that can only result in a feeling of dis-ease. Take a stand. Decide what you really believe and then live that way. Repeat this: Starting with me, two-faced will only describe a kind of tape. I will live my values in every part of my life. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

The Ethics of Everyday Decisions - Watering the Lawn

This is the continuation of a series encouraging an examination of everyday decisions from a moral standpoint. How do our everyday actions help or harm ourselves and others? Think about it. For those interested, there is a Scriptural insight relating to the everyday decision, from a Christian standpoint. I welcome responses from those who might be able to offer similar insights from the Koran or other sacred writings. Over the next few months, watch for postings on health decisions, work decisions, environmental decisions, relationship decisions, and...who knows what else?

This blog series is for the purpose of raising up the moral issues involved in everyday decision making. So what about living in a townhome development or in a municipality whose laws require lawns to be watered and cared for? Even in such a prescribed situation, there are ethical decisions to be made.

What are some of the conflicting values among which decisions have to be made?

1. Respect for the law
2. Protecting the scarce resource of water
3. Being fair to immediate neighbors
4. Being fair to neighbors living up or downstream in the watershed
5. Protecting shrinking city green spaces
6. Use of our own leisure time

While these are clearly not all the issues, you can see the dilemmas that present themselves. Ethics is about making informed choices based on the values you and others hold dear. As in this case, there are almost always conflicting values. Which is more important, the beauty of a city lot or the water supply of a municipality downstream? Which is right, obeying the law or protecting a natural resource? What are the tradeoffs? Can one use less water by mulching around the plants in the lawn, or changing the slope of the yard? How does that affect resources such as income which may be scarce enough to barely afford food? Does one simply accept a law, or get involved with the legislative process to change it to more closely align with one's values?

Neither the questions nor the answers are easy, but not asking and not trying to answer is simply unacceptable. Wrestle with these questions. Raise the issues in neighborhood meetings and e-mail or write your legislators.

The ethics of everyday decisions are just that - everyday decisions. Respond to this post with how you have made your decision.

Scriptural Insight: "I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees...Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun...Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." - Ecclesiastes 2:5,6,11; 12:13-14