On Saying No to Sales People

He looks once more at the telephone slip on his desk. The woman has called him three times since he met with her about her company’s product. He dreads telling her he’s not really interested. He pushes the slip aside, once again.

This scene repeats 1000s of times every day. Salespeople waste hours calling back prospects who are afraid to say, “No.” And those prospects endure a constant, nagging sense that they are doing wrong.

Just say, “No.” Save yourself stress and the salesperson time by being truthful about your intentions. Build relationships on integrity, not fear. Repeat this: Starting with me, salespeople will be treated with the same respect I expect from them.

On Being a Hypocrite

Watching the small fringe group calling themselves anarchists trying to disrupt the RNC in St. Paul brought to mind how easy it is to be hypocritical. The dictionary definition of anarchism is "a belief in the abolition of all government and the organization of society on a voluntary, cooperative basis." (Concise Oxford Dictionary, 10th Edition) Our society is built on freedoms that include the right to hold beliefs contrary to the status quo and to speak them out. The message of the anarchist activity in St. Paul is a direct contradiction to what they say they believe.

The message is that people are NOT free to speak and act as they believe, otherwise, why try to keep the delegates from reaching the convention?

The message is that organization of society is NOT voluntary or cooperative, otherwise, why try to keep people from what they believe is right?

The message is that some form of government IS needed to protect private citizens from terroristic acts of violence that the anarchists clearly perpetrated.

But this ought to be a lesson to all of us to look carefully at how our behavior aligns or doesn't align with our beliefs.The very essence of ethics is to articulate a clear value system and act in accordance with it.

Repeat this: Starting with me, I will examine my intended behaviors BEFORE acting to see that they are not hypocritical.

On Interrelational Ethics

Here’s a thorny ethical dilemma: Legalism vs. Grace. Law and order demand that we hold people accountable for their actions. Mercy and forgiveness suggest that we give people a break. Are the two incompatible? Ignoring wrongdoing is a slippery slope, but punishment is not necessarily “justice.”

Consider this: ethics suggests an ongoing, open dialogue about the competing values we see among individuals and societies. To coin a phrase, we need to be about “interrelational ethics.”

Repeat this: Starting with me, morals will be tested in relationship with others. I will be open to the give and take of dialogue.

On Striving for Win-Win

Stephen Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, names this habit: “Win-Win or No Deal.” His point is that a mutually beneficial outcome is always possible if we are willing to work for it. While his book is not about ethics, per se, this is a highly moral stand. It assumes that the needs of the other person are as valuable as our own. Covey states that people who are highly effective insist on meeting others’ needs as well as their own. If we were all to take this stand, the whole issue of ethics in the marketplace would take on an entirely different tone.

Repeat this: Starting with me, win-win will be the standard for behavior. I will work hard for that outcome.

On Valuing Contentment

Is enough ever enough? Do we even know what the word “contentment” means today? The people I have most admired in my life were those who knew how to be content in all circumstances. They exhibit a peace, a calmness that I want to achieve. Oh, don’t misunderstand. They aren’t lazy. They still have goals and ambitions and passion. But they are not driven by those. They are fed by something inside, something more important than achievement. They have found contentment. They have moved from making needs-based decisions to making values-based decisions.

Repeat this: Starting with me, contentment will be a worthwhile goal. I will be driven by intrinsic values, rather than externals.

On Being an Environment Steward

“Paper or plastic?” That question opened great debates in the last decade on our personal responsibility for the environment. Technology has since changed the equation, but we are still faced daily with decisions that affect the stewardship of the resources we have. What can the rallying cry be today? How can we raise awareness of the environmental issues involved in our everyday decisions? What will gas prices have to be before Americans begin to seriously conserve fuel? What species will disappear before we take responsibility for our planet?

Repeat this: Starting with me, stewardship starts with me. I will not wait any longer to make a difference.

On Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

Is there really such a thing as a superstar? A sports team doesn’t win based on one player. A business doesn’t excel based on one person’s service. A family doesn’t thrive based on one member’s efforts. The truth is, credit is due to the group. In our individualistic society, we want to name heroes. But in actuality, unless we are working together, we will all fall.

Repeat this: Starting with me, credit for success will be given where it is due. I will neither hog the limelight, nor create individual heroes.