On Interrelational Ethics

Here’s a thorny ethical dilemma: Legalism vs. Grace. Law and order demand that we hold people accountable for their actions. Mercy and forgiveness suggest that we give people a break. Are the two incompatible? Ignoring wrongdoing is a slippery slope, but punishment is not necessarily “justice.”

Consider this: ethics suggests an ongoing, open dialogue about the competing values we see among individuals and societies. To coin a phrase, we need to be about “interrelational ethics.”

Repeat this: Starting with me, morals will be tested in relationship with others. I will be open to the give and take of dialogue.

On Striving for Win-Win

Stephen Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, names this habit: “Win-Win or No Deal.” His point is that a mutually beneficial outcome is always possible if we are willing to work for it. While his book is not about ethics, per se, this is a highly moral stand. It assumes that the needs of the other person are as valuable as our own. Covey states that people who are highly effective insist on meeting others’ needs as well as their own. If we were all to take this stand, the whole issue of ethics in the marketplace would take on an entirely different tone.

Repeat this: Starting with me, win-win will be the standard for behavior. I will work hard for that outcome.

On Valuing Contentment

Is enough ever enough? Do we even know what the word “contentment” means today? The people I have most admired in my life were those who knew how to be content in all circumstances. They exhibit a peace, a calmness that I want to achieve. Oh, don’t misunderstand. They aren’t lazy. They still have goals and ambitions and passion. But they are not driven by those. They are fed by something inside, something more important than achievement. They have found contentment. They have moved from making needs-based decisions to making values-based decisions.

Repeat this: Starting with me, contentment will be a worthwhile goal. I will be driven by intrinsic values, rather than externals.

On Being an Environment Steward

“Paper or plastic?” That question opened great debates in the last decade on our personal responsibility for the environment. Technology has since changed the equation, but we are still faced daily with decisions that affect the stewardship of the resources we have. What can the rallying cry be today? How can we raise awareness of the environmental issues involved in our everyday decisions? What will gas prices have to be before Americans begin to seriously conserve fuel? What species will disappear before we take responsibility for our planet?

Repeat this: Starting with me, stewardship starts with me. I will not wait any longer to make a difference.

On Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

Is there really such a thing as a superstar? A sports team doesn’t win based on one player. A business doesn’t excel based on one person’s service. A family doesn’t thrive based on one member’s efforts. The truth is, credit is due to the group. In our individualistic society, we want to name heroes. But in actuality, unless we are working together, we will all fall.

Repeat this: Starting with me, credit for success will be given where it is due. I will neither hog the limelight, nor create individual heroes.