On Facing Conflict (Not Ignoring It)

Why do so many people avoid conflict? For most personality styles, it’s uncomfortable, and culturally it’s often viewed as violent, or at least as an emotional struggle. But conflict is not by its nature a negative thing. If you care enough about a belief, you should be willing to confront those people or things which challenge your belief. Do this with an equal dose of humility and assertiveness, and the result is sure to be positive. “Confront” comes from a French word which means, “with common borders.” What a positive way to look at conflict.

Repeat this: Starting with me, exploring common borders is a constructive way to view conflict. I will care enough to confront my own beliefs.

On Taking Bribes

Bribery. There’s a word for it in almost every language, past and present. In some countries there are laws against bribery; in others, it’s an accepted way of doing business. Even if it were legal, though, I submit it would be unethical. By definition, bribery is awarding favor in exchange for a reward. The focus isn’t on the quality of the service but on the quantity of the reward. Bribery bars qualified players from the field and favors the wealthiest participants. But bribery will go on as long as there is someone willing to pay or accept a bribe.

Repeat this: Starting with me, bribery will not be tolerated at any level, for any reason.

On Labeling – It’s for Products, Not People

Truth in Labeling Laws help assure us that a product is what it is advertised to be. No such laws exist in the human realm. We label people incorrectly all the time. I’m not referring to nasty names or racial slurs. I’m talking about the ways we put people in boxes. “John is straight-laced. Susan is old school.” This presents a moral dilemma. Do we allow people to be who they really are, or do we force our own prejudices on them?

Repeat this: Starting with me, people will be encouraged to be all that they can be – I will not put them in box of my own making.

On Contributing to Prejudice

“I’m not prejudiced, but did you hear the joke about...?” Subtle, unintentioned prejudice is more difficult to deal with than outright bigotry. At least with a bigot you know where he stands. All of us have prejudices. The trick is to know ourselves well enough to recognize them – and then refuse to act on them. Please don’t knowingly or unknowingly be a contributor to prejudice. Be vigilant and continuously ask yourself what your true feelings are.

Repeat this: Starting with me, behavior based on prejudice is a thing of the past. I will admit to my own biases and refuse to act on them.

On Prejudging - Judging a Book by Its Cover

I’m a fan of the CSI genre of TV shows. One of the positive messages is the portrayal of some of the weird-looking and weird-acting people (by my first-appearance standards) as highly intelligent, capable professionals. It’s a good reminder of the old saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” All too often we pre-judge people by how they dress, or their height or weight, or, today, their body ornamentation. Appearances rarely have anything to do with what’s inside a person; with what a person is capable of. As the CSI shows always say, “Believe the evidence.”

Repeat this: Starting with me, the fruit of people’s work will be the only standard for judging their worth.