On Becoming Hardened to Immorality – Inured

"Inured" is a great word. It means becoming so accustomed to something undesirable, we don’t notice it anymore. It happens to all of us with different things. Look at what’s seen on TV now, or words used in common speech, or how everyone seems to simply accept someone answering a cell phone while talking to us. Look at speeding on the highway or personal time spent on the internet in our workplace. We become inured because we let it happen.

Repeat this: Starting with me, it’s no longer acceptable to simply accept the unacceptable. I am going to be more aware of and change my own undesirable behaviors even if others are used to them.

On Moral Choices

Did you ever read one of those "stupid criminal" stories? What were they thinking? Well, they weren’t. And much of the time, neither are we. Too often we go through our day without thinking about the consequences of what we are doing or the moral implications of the choices we make. What if we spent a little more time thinking about the outcome of our words before we spoke or whether our actions are morally right before we did things?

Repeat this: Starting with me, words and actions will be preceded by careful thought. I will think about the moral implications of my behavior.

On Making a Difference

"Thousands of starfish washed ashore. A little girl began throwing them into the water so they wouldn’t die. ‘Don’t bother, dear,’ her mother said. ‘There are too many. It won’t make a difference.’ The little girl looked at the one in her hand and then threw it in. ‘It makes a difference to that one.’"

Based on an essay by Loren Eiseley, that story inspires me to believe that we can make a difference. Repeat this: Starting with me, making a difference for even one is a priority. I will take action even when the problem seems too big.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Giving Feedback

One of the most important communications skills is the ability to give feedback. Doing it in a respectful, non-judgmental manner helps ensure your feedback will be heard. Remember this phrase: behaviorally measurable. Your feedback should be around observable, objective behaviors, not your feelings or your subjective judgments as to what they mean. If someone shortchanges a customer, don’t say, "You cheated that lady." Instead, say, "You gave her $1.70 instead of $1.80." Describe the behavior. The other person will not be as likely to be defensive, and you may help build either skills or character in the process.

Repeat this: Starting with me, feedback will be more effective.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Keeping Your Word

Eden Prairie high school students were suspended after pictures of their involvement in a party with alcohol showed up on Facebook. There are many ethics issues to examine here, but one that hasn't been talked about too much is the ethics of keeping one's word.

Reportedly, students involved in athletics and other special activities signed a contract agreeing to no involvement with drugs or alcohol. They violated their agreement. All the protests of being treated unfairly, being spied upon, being unjustly accused because their cups may not have contained alcohol - all that is irrelevant to the fact that they violated their agreement.

One of the protesting Eden Prairie students interviewed said she was trying to show that the school couldn't control them, but that really isn't the point, is it? If she truly believes agreeing to no alcohol or drug involvement is a control measure, then don't sign the agreement. Have the strength to stand up for your convictions and pay the cost. Ethics is not about what you can get away with, it is about holding and acting on deeply held beliefs. It takes courage and it often carries a cost.

If students want to drink or take drugs or hang around with those who do, then make a choice NOT to be involved in the activities like sports that specifically forbid it. If you don't believe that's fair, stand up and protest that - not that you got caught violating your promise.

On Wasting Resources

Waste. Definitely not a welcome word in most businesses. Most of us are very careful to reduce waste and to avoid wasting time, energy, and other resources. But how many of us are aware of wasting our influence? As we are successful in our jobs, it gives us influence among our fellow employees, customers, etc. How are you using your influence? Purely for your own gain? Or are you using the favor you’ve found with others to make a difference?

Repeat this: Starting with me, good favor will be seen as a valuable resource. I will use whatever influence I have to make a difference in my workplace, my neighborhood, and my community.

For more tips and information, visit http://www.startingwithme.us/.

The Infernal Triangle

The most dangerous hazard in our workplaces? The Infernal Triangle. Simply put, The Infernal Triangle is when I have a complaint about you. But instead of telling you directly, I go and complain to someone else. The effect? I rob you of any chance to explain yourself, or correct your behavior. I duck my own responsibility to handle problems. I create a blaming and shaming environment instead of a problem solving one. Worse yet, I dirty your reputation with the third person and put him/her in a very awkward situation. Stop the Infernal Triangle at your workplace.

Repeat this: Starting with me, communications will be direct and respectful. If I have a beef, I’ll go directly to the person involved.

For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.

On Giving Encouragement

Everyone needs encouragement in discouraging times. However, words, no matter how nobly quoted or skillfully crafted, are empty unless there is substance behind them. Do your coworkers know there is substance behind your words? Are you a person who lives and speaks hope? Do you build a positive, accepting and safe environment in all you say and do? Do you project competence and excellence? People in crisis naturally seek out someone whom they can trust. Based on your past behaviors, will that person be you? Repeat this: Starting with me, this will become a more positive, encouraging place. I will be an encourager in discouraging times. For more tips and information, visit www.swimstartingwithme.com.